You could put me in a blank room, alone and with no sound, yet I would find a way to be distracted. At best, I'm concentrating so hard, legs jittering, a dazed look in my eyes and exhaustion pending but, I will hit my target, hmm most of the time.
Then December comes and the game of concentration station is taken to new dazzling heights. Tall trees inside the office, Christmas jumpers at the ready, festive tunes and bright lights, literally everywhere.
I am 6 minutes deep into an email and all I can hear is my kids in my ears singing “Jingle bells, jingles bells” and now I'm remembering a tune from my school days “Jingle Bells Batman Smells” and now I'm picturing batman and wondering why he would smell and how an earth he made his way into a festive classic.
I finished my email and as I read it back I felt as though if I were to sing it to the receiver instead of writing I could definitely make the words fit the jingle bells song. I am sure they would appreciate it but as it's an email sent to reinforce security rules, I think this would undermine the impact I wish It to have.
"Tailgating, tailgating, is a big no-no. Please remember to swipe your badge or we will send you home” Well, words to the effect of this Christmas number one incoming!
As Christmas dinner week finally graces our presence, the tantalizing aroma of roasted turkey wafts through the entire office, rendering even the most focused minds susceptible to its savoury allure. Succumbing to the irresistible temptation, I find myself indulging in just one more little nibble of the delectable holiday dish – a guilty pleasure that marks my third culinary rendezvous with turkey today alone.
With the clock ticking toward an 11 a.m. I casually reassure myself that my colleagues won't mind the audible crunch of my festive indulgence, even though if the sweet was in the other mouth I would be dying on the inside as I simply loathe listening to others eat *ADHD rage loading…
Reality sets in as the third delightful nibble morphs into a desire for a post-turkey nap, and I contemplate the delicate balance between festive snacking and maintaining workplace productivity. Deep in my food reflections, the gentle hum of the coffee machine snaps me back to the present moment, prompting a brief deliberation on whether a cup of coffee could salvage me from the impending food coma.
Now, for anyone else who has ADHD, or any other neurodivergent mind, Christmas shopping is a task best served via Amazon.
Embarking on a Christmas shopping spree as a neurodivergent individual is like diving into a wacky winter wonderland. The store's aisles transform into a dazzling array of colours, making it feel like you're wandering through a psychedelic snow globe. The holiday tunes, become a cacophony of sound, turning the shopping centres into a lively disco party where even the mannequins seem to be grooving.
I'm dodging through the crowd like a ninja, trying to avoid sensory overload snowflakes that fall like confetti. The flickering lights overhead become disco balls, and the cash register's ka-ching is the beat drop to an impromptu shopping dance routine. Choosing the perfect gift is like trying to find a needle in a tinsel stack, and the gift wrap section is a maze that could rival any Santa's workshop.
As I navigate through this holiday sensory shopping obstacle course, I can't help but feel like a festive superhero, armed with a shopping list, and a sense of humour as my trusty sidekick, I look down at my shopping trolly filled with items that my dopamine told me to put in and I had no control over. Of course, my 6-year-old daughter wants this drum kit, and my three-year-old daughter will have a great time playing an electric guitar that’s going to be too big for her and has no idea how to play. But I had a thought on the way around this crazy place! We could start a band! And the dopamine did the rest.
Now for the final hurdle, The checkout line. I'm racing others to the newly opened till in slow motion to the Vangelis - Chariots Of Fire. Winning this gold medal would be so good for my self-esteem today and bring this adventure to a close. *Imagines self on the podium being cheered as I hold the guitar up into the air and accept 1st place in the Christmas race of a lifetime.
I no longer let my ADHD hold me back and let my humour take the lead in how I view the world.
Merry Christmas Everyone
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