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Writer's picturePaul Murphy

ADHD - Finding your identity

You know what's often overlooked about ADHD? We're like the chameleons of aspirations, quick to pick up on other people's dreams like we're auditioning for 'Star in Their Eyes.' Remember that show? "Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be..." and bam, a whole transformation happens.

 

Well, for us ADHD folks, it's a bit like that, but instead of singing on a stage, we're absorbing the dreams and goals of those around us. We're like goal-setting sponges, soaking up the passions and ambitions of our friends and family. 

 

One day, we're convinced we're destined to be the next tech genius, and the next, we're diving headfirst into the world of gourmet cooking because, well, why not?

 

It's not that we lack our own dreams, it's just that we're so open to external influences that our goal list resembles a constantly changing playlist. The challenge? Finding a balance between embracing the excitement of new aspirations and sticking to our own path. It's like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle – tricky but not impossible.

 

And let's be honest, this constant "Tonight, I'm going to be..." routine might make us seem a bit like a creative tornado, but it's all part of the ADHD charm. We're not flaky; we're just exploring the buffet of life with extra enthusiasm.

 

Defining 'who I am' has been like trying to fit myself into one genre when everything around me, from clothes to dating preferences, keeps changing faster than the weather. I'm not just fussy, my brain does this magical trick where it morphs instantly based on whatever external influence catches its attention. It's like my mind has its own Spotify playlist, jumping from country to rock faster than you can say, "Giddy up!"

 

So, picture this: I watch a movie, someone looks fantastic, and suddenly my brain is like, "Hey, you could totally pull off that look." Cue the research spree—although we won't dive into the time I thought I could be the next Rocky Balboa.

 

Then there's the car thing. See a cool car on the street, and suddenly, I'm on eBay researching its cost like I'm about to buy it. Motorbike test after watching Sons of Anarchy, growing my hair out after a Jake Gyllenhaal film, picking up the guitar after Walk the Line—classic moves, right? And just to be clear, these are quirks, not signs of psychopathy. 😊

 

Being labelled a dreamer was amusing at first. I knew I was one, but none of my dreams ever seemed to stick. It took me a while to figure out why. Flashback to when I was 18: I got a job in the police. Fast forward to 30, and I had more emergency services uniforms than a costume shop.

 

Since mid-2023, I've been trying to wrangle this trait. My ADHD brain goes on these wild business adventures—start-ups, financing, highs, lows, and then, poof, selling the whole thing as an Amazon umbrella company within 24 hours. It leaves me exhausted, socially drained, and with a sleep schedule more up and down than a rollercoaster.

 

So, I found myself at a crossroads. I needed to navigate the unpredictable terrain of my ADHD-driven creativity. In this puzzle of ideas, I discovered a quirky resemblance to Del Boy Trotter. Now, I'm not envisioning a path to millions (although that wouldn't be a bad turn of events, considering the debts piled up from my myriad hobbies). Instead, my aspirations are akin to the hope that, among the plethora of ideas, one might emerge as the proverbial jackpot, a concept with real substance and potential. So, I needed to make a plan.

 

Step one I set up an idea wall—a board on the wall for random sparks of genius. The hard part? Not diving deep into each idea. Recognising that every all-nighter led to nothing but burnout.

 

Step two involved a reality check after the caffeine-fuelled buzz wore off. Did the idea survive scrutiny, or was it just a dopamine-fuelled fantasy? For the survivors (about 10% of the lot), I prioritised, asking the crucial questions: "Is this a now thing or a down-the-line thing? Is it doable, or is it just a flashy pitch for Dragons Den? And most importantly, will it lead to burnout?"

 

Sure, I haven't hit entrepreneurial stardom, but I've gained skills. I learned to tame my impulsive side, take my time, and plan more effectively. It might not be the conventional approach, but hey, it's mine. I didn't navigate this journey alone. Genius Within hooked me up with a coach, and through 8 sessions, I transformed my planning, organisation and timekeeping game. Now, I see the challenges not as obstacles but as badges of honour in my neurodiverse journey.

 

So, here's to us ADHD dreamers – may we continue to embrace the ever-changing landscape of goals with a side of humour and a sprinkle of focus when needed. After all, who said you can't be a tech genius, chef, or motorbike-riding boxer, right?

 

Until next time, stay uniquely you. 😊

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